George Carlin

George Carlin (12/3/1937 – 22/6/2008) was an american stand up comedian and actor.

George Carlin quotes:

Stupid

18
vote

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): stupid, stupidity

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Ticket

49
vote

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): america, freak show, freaks, tickets

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Feeling

18
vote

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): chocolate, feeling, toilet

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

I haven't got all day

24
vote

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): day, funny, funny quotes, george carlin, impatient, time

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Weather

18
vote

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): forecast, funny, funny quotes, george carlin, george carlin quotes, quotations, quotes, Weather, weather quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Present

31
vote

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): future, future quotes, george carlin, george carlin quotes, past, present, quotations, quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Status quo

24
vote

The status quo sucks.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): funny, funny quotes, george carlin, george carlin quotes, quotations, quotes, status quo

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Santa

22
vote

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): bad girls, bad girls quotes, funny, george carlin, george carlin quotes, girls, quotations, qutoes, Santa, santa claus, santa claus quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Religion

17
vote

Religion is just mind control.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): george carlin, george carlin quotes, quotations, quotes, religion, religion quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Cynical person

14
vote

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): cynical, cynical quotes, idealist, life, life quotes, quotations, quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Bible

21
vote

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): Bible, bible quotes, exam, funny, funny quotes, george carlin, george carlin quotes, people, quotations, quotes, religion, religion quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Authority

24
vote

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): Authority, authority quotes, funny, funny quotes, george carlin, Pope, pope quotes, quotations, quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Peace

18
vote

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): Fighting, funny, funny quotes, peace, peace quotes, quotations, quotes, screwing, virginity, war, war quotes

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Dinner party

18
vote

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): bathroom, death, Dinner party, funny, funny quotes, quotations, quotes, toilet

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα

Atheism

24
vote

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Το είπε...: George Carlin

Ετικέτες (tags): Atheism, atheism quotes, organization, quotations, quotes, Religon

Κατηγορία: Αποφθέγματα